It was such a pathetic attempt at offence that Funk deliberately no-sold it, grabbed the trash can and waffled Ralphus with it.Īll the while, Schiavone, Hudson, and Madden made such fun at Ralphus that you couldn't help but laugh out loud. Not long after, he decided to use said trash can to give Funk a gentle little love tap. Rather than break up the pin attempt, the big lug just stood there, watching and holding a trash can. At one point, Funk covered Smiley as they brawled through the backstage area. Rather than helping Smiley in any way, he kind of just wandered around aimlessly. That wasn't the funny part though, the funny part was that Ralphus had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to be doing. Later in the match, Terry Funk would blast away that hockey mask to reveal that the big fat guy was actually Ralphus, who we last saw on PPV accompanying Chris Jericho back at Uncensored 1999. Norman Smiley had been billed as competing with a ' Mystery Partner,' a big fat guy wearing a hockey mask to reveal his identity. I'm also not entirely sure that this was actually supposed to be that funny.
CZW TOTAL HAVOC REVIEW PRO
Honestly, I don't think I've ever laughed so much watching a pro wrestling match in all of my life. World Championship Wrestling Hardcore Championship Handicap Match This led us into a video package which showed The Funker getting his ass kicked in various ways, because if you want to get a guy over, then naturally the best way to do is to show him getting destroyed by half the roster. Schiavone, Hudson, and Madden then segued into talking about Terry Funk, who would be competing in our next match. This would have been sexy had Tammy not been wearing an ugly hotpants-and-crop top number.īefore the next match, Tony Schiavone and his fake tan told us that one of the cages in tonight's Triple Cage match would be a 'hardcore cage' while another would be -and I quote- "a guitar cage." Your Winner and Still WCW Cruiserweight Champion: Chris CandidoĪfterward, Paisley ripped off Tammy's prostitute dress. Rather pointlessly, Candido then hit a piledriver and diving headbutt to score the actual three count.
In retaliation, Tammy grabbed a chair and managed to take out both Paisley and The Artist at the same time.Ĭandido covered the artist, referee Mickey Jay counted to three and the bell rang, only for Jay to claim that he didn't count to three after all and that the match must continue.
The two women -who had come to blows at the previous month's Spring Stampede 2000- got into a staredown which resulted in Paisley grabbing Tammy by the hair and dragging her to the ground. That came about when Paisley confronted Tammy to stop her distracting the referee's attention. Though this was nowhere on par with the kind of cruiserweight classics we'd once seen from the likes of Juventud Guerrera, Psicosis, and Rey Mysterio Jr, it was a solid outing that was only spoiled by a couple of blown spots and a botched finish. The match then commenced and was a good effort from both men. The Artist (w/ Paisley)īefore the bout, Tammy took to the microphone to insist that since Missouri was the ' Show Me State,' she should show us what she had under her robe.Ĭhris Candido's valet, whose voice was at least a couple of octaves deeper than it ever had been the last time we saw her as Sunny, then stripped off her robe to reveal a silver dress which made her look like one of The Godfather's hos. WCW Cruiserweight Champion (w/ Tammy) vs. World Championship Wrestling Cruiserweight Championship As the cameras scanned the crowd, Schiavone introduced us to his broadcast colleagues, Mark Madden and Scott Hudson, leaving this writer to pine for the glory days of Mike Tenay and Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan. Out in the arena, pyro blasted, and Tony Schiavone welcomed us to Slamboree.
We then got the standard sub-par WCW video package which reminded us that Sting and Vampiro hated each other, that Billy Kidman and Hulk Hogan were at war, and that yes, Courtney Cox's husband was our world champion.
CZW TOTAL HAVOC REVIEW TV
Out in the parking lot, The Millionaire's Club were shown arriving on their tour bus while The New Blood all gathered around a TV in the locker room to watch them do so. This was great and all, but since Flair's title shot wouldn't be until the following month, this didn't do much for tonight's show. We began tonight's proceedings with a cold open, a flashback to that week's Nitro in which Ric Flair, leading The Millionaire's Club, had challenged The New Blood to a battle royal, with a world title shot at The Great American Bash up for grabs for the winner.įlair had gone onto win that match, which had also featured a surprise cameo from Macho Man Randy Savage.